AIDS and Christianity

Image source: idisciple.org

Here’s a headline news a few weeks ago. It tickles my nerve and I’ll voice my opinion a bit.

NEW YORK (AP) — The head of the nation’s top public health agency once opposed condoms and needle exchange programs as ways to stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

This week, in one of his first media interviews since taking office, Dr. Robert Redfield Jr. said his views have changed.

“I think the data is just clear that these strategies work. When you see evidence that these strategies work, you need to embrace them,” said Redfield, director of the Atlanta-based Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Redfield, 66, rose to prominence as a top researcher into the emerging AIDS epidemic. He has earned praise for his extensive experience treating HIV patients as well as drug addicts.

But he also made headlines more than two decades ago when he was scrutinized for overstating the effectiveness of an experimental AIDS vaccine. And he was criticized for being out of step with the public health community on some issues.

In a 1987 booklet on AIDS aimed at young people, Redfield and his co-author offered no advice on condoms or other preventive measures, preaching that the best way to avoid AIDS was to avoid sex until marriage. They wrote, in all caps: “DON’T ENGAGE IN INTIMATE CONTACT AT ALL. IF YOU HAVE HAD THAT KIND OF CONTACT IN THE PAST, STOP NOW.”

The booklet came out at a time when prominent public health leaders, including U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, endorsed condoms as one way of preventing the spread of the AIDS virus.

In a foreword to a 1990 book entitled “Christians in the Age of AIDS,” Redfield wrote: “It is time to reject the temptation of denial of the AIDS/HIV crisis; to reject false prophets who preach the quick-fix strategies of condoms and free needles; to reject those who preach prejudice; and to reject those who try to replace God as judge.”

Research showing needle-exchange programs work emerged in the 1990s. “Science evolves,” Redfield said.

Until this year, Redfield sat on the board of Children’s AIDS Fund International, an organization that has long prioritized abstinence before marriage in preventing the spread of HIV.

Redfield told The Associated Press this week that it has become clear to him that condoms and needle exchanges work as part of comprehensive programs to stop the spread of certain infectious diseases.

“One thing I can commit to is CDC is not an opinion organization. It’s a science-based, data-driven organization,” he said.

The CDC investigates disease outbreaks, researches the cause and frequency of health problems, and promotes prevention. It has nearly 12,000 employees and 10,000 contractors worldwide.

Redfield was appointed in March. Like his predecessor, Dr. Brenda Fitzgerald, Redfield had been avoiding contact with the media. He said he wanted 90 days to learn about the agency but is now prepared to become more of a national spokesman on health issues, as some earlier CDC officials have been.

Redfield told the AP his priorities for the agency include work to identify and stop infectious disease epidemics around the world, with a keen eye on newly emerging forms of flu and on germs that develop resistance to existing medications.

Another priority will be ending AIDS. He told CDC employees in late March that it’s possible to end the U.S. AIDS epidemic in less than seven years.

Asked about it this week, he backed off a specific timetable, saying his earlier statement was “an aspirational goal” and “no one can predict how long it will take.”

But he said he is encouraged that the number of HIV cases diagnosed in the U.S. was down in recent years, to just under 40,000 in 2016. If more people can be diagnosed and put on virus-suppressing medications, that will cut down the number of people who can spread the disease. Condoms, clean needles and a pill that can protect a patient from developing an infection are also important, he said.

“We do have the tools to end this epidemic. Let’s use them,” he said.

As I dive into this topic through health’s lens, one thing to be assessed before I make this writing: what cultures are we living in. I suggest readers brief themselves with modernism, postmodernism, and post-truth culture. Health is just one of the facets I’m going to talk about.

Health is a wellbeing-oriented field, at least at the core. On the bottom of the pyramid, health is a human right. Based on that, they said it “violates medical ethics and harms young people” when we encourage abstinence-only: we withhold information. It is not a coincidence that behind the curtains, it was of those who support abortion rights, who shouted in this matter.

“Lack of skill that they need”, if I may quote her. I’m curious what kind of skill she meant.

Article 25 of the United Nations‘ Universal Declaration of Human Rights 1948 states that “Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services.”

True. People should get information about options they have and let them weigh the risks.

Before we get to far, let me clear the dust on my shoulder: I agree abstinence-only is wrong. But to give people options without clear moral compass to look up to, let society be the judge of right and wrong, is when postmodern culture kicks in.

Sex evolved into a form of recreation, become their version of truth. For fun, some might agree. The absolutes are blurry. Consider about abortion dispute among them. An interesting case study of postmodernism.

But sex is not just a recreation in Christian worldview.

Sex is sacred for Christians. Allowed in a covenant named marriage, blessed by God before sex happens. A unification between two different sex, two become one. A glimpse of what triune God is about.

For those who already shout “Christianization!!” in their mind, I’m not here to make you a Christian. Corridor of my writing is to emphasize the sanctity of marriage and how I, as a Christian, believe that is the design God intended for us to live our life as the image-bearer of Him, and the sacredness of human life.

Here’s my thought.

The article above is the naked image of modernism, what matters is “we reach the same end”, removing all the stumbling block seen as hindering progress.

That’s where our field started to get anesthetized by terms such as “cost-effective method”, numbers in statistics and outcome, while ignoring sacredness of each human lives. We care about quantity, extended to quality, now aiming for equity.

In the fight of terms, we mistook autonomy as freedom and abuse our natural desires as the ticket to do what we want. We should just let them know the consequences, that’s all. If they stay virgin, that’s good for them. If they chose not to, they should get all the information they need, so we didn’t commit ethical violation. Or should I say, human right violation.

Tell me, how free are we without boundaries?

People glorify self-expressions, if that isn’t obvious enough, any bumps will lead us to hate speech. Risky options are given to individuals, with morals shaped by the society.

Yes, you may have sex. You can and it’s okay. It’s your body, you have authority over it.

But, be safe. Use protection.

You’re doing drugs? It’s your body, you have authority over it.

But, be safe. Use clean needles.

I’ll shift to another page to make my point.

We don’t like racists, do we? We agreed on that equilibrium of stance.

Yet we frowned upon people who are against LGBT worldview. Well, I have to explain (every time!!) that I am not against their rights to live, practice what they believe, and to be treated the same as heterosexuals, if not, everyone else.

People frown, rarely think: how can you disagree with science?

Saying multiple arguments of inclusivity, forcing me to understand that my view is outdated, opinion-based, not science-based, not data-driven (pun intended) while excluding my view from their term of inclusive. Such an “inclusive” view, I’m stupefied.

We are quick to shift from autonomous to heteronomous, whenever a person/group of people are on our opposing side. I thought they are insisting that it is everyone’s right to believe what they believe and practice it, no? I hope my point is delivered.

As in above’s case, I object the conclusion of opinion-based. Our view of sex is based on truth that is Word of God, as a gift to human to glorify His name, blessed in a covenant named marriage.

Why in a covenant? In Song of Solomons, love is described as fire. It doesn’t take a forest fire to imagine what happens to its surrounding when fire is raging and uncontrolled. A covenant blessed by God keeps the fire in its place. Warm and preserve life.

Many waters cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

Song of Solomons 8:7a

If we are to measure AIDS by chance and numbers to balance the scale, proceed to let human decisions’ stir its string of consequences, doesn’t the Bible already showed us the wretchedness of human in authority?

The Bible showed us the value of each and wholeness of human, including sex and marriage. Be it sexual orientation or sexual intercourse. There are boundaries.

Yes, health sector shouldn’t approach this matter by abstinence-only. I must say I didn’t agree with Redfield in above’s case. We did not and will not rob people from their option of condoms and needles, since not everyone hold Christian values.

Christians can’t force someone else to be a Christian, so I can’t force anyone to believe my view of sex and sanctity of marriage. You are free to believe and practice, so you don’t get to force us nod at your view by making legality a moral compass. Just because it is legal, doesn’t make it right. Delaying sexual behavior until marriage are not a good goal, it is a holy goal.

It’s always about holiness, not happiness.

To God be the glory. May the whole earth is full of His glory.

[Ulasan] Freakonomics

“Apapun pekerjaanmu, kamu harus mengerti ekonomi.”

Saya lupa siapa yang mengatakan itu beberapa tahun lalu saat saya bilang saya tidak mengerti ekonomi, tidak tertarik ekonomi, dan tidak mau tahu ekonomi. Ribet masalah uang. Toh, cinta uang adalah akar dari segala kejahatan. #pembelaan

Namun setelah menjajaki kehidupan kerja, mulai pusing mengatur keuangan yang rasanya selalu kurang, dan mulai sadar perlunya manajemen keuangan supaya ngga bocor ke hal-hal ngga berguna, saya baru mengerti kenapa semua orang harus belajar ekonomi.

Freakonomics buku ekonomi pertama yang saya baca, dan ternyata berbeda jauh dari ekspektasi saya mengenai buku ekonomi. Untuk pembaca yang belum familiar dengan karakter saya, saya tipe pemilih buku yang judge a book by its cover, bukan dari ulasan.

Morality, it could be argued, represent the way that people would like the world to work — whereas economics represents how it actually does work. Economics is above all a science of measurement.

Setelah membaca kalimat tersebut di prakata, saya pikir ini akan menjadi buku yang menarik karena secara tidak langsung, penulis menyuguhkan deviasi dari moralitas. Artinya, mereka menyadari ada standar moral yang mungkin saja tidak tercapai dari kacamata ekonomi, dunia ini tidak berjalan seperti semestinya.

Judul tiap bab buku yang disuguhkan pun kontroversial, perlu dibaca hingga selesai untuk memahaminya.

Bab pertama, misalnya, What do schoolteachers and sumo wrestlers have in common? menantang pembaca untuk mengira-ngira apa isi pembahasan bab ini. Saya menemukan konten dan gaya bahasa penulis yang menitikberatkan data dan aplikasinya dalam kasus yang diangkat. Alur buku ini mengingatkan saya pada buku-buku Malcolm Gladwell, terutama David & Goliath.

Saya akan coba membahas lebih dalam mengenai beberapa hal yang cukup menarik perhatian saya sebagai pegiat kesehatan; penyalahgunaan informasi, disparitas rasial, dan legalitas aborsi.

Adulting is hard

Heavy tobacco smell rampaging through the air inside the living room. Feodalism domination, I thought. No matter how many times we protested, it matters not. He’s the boss!

Automatically orchestrated, my breathing muscles paused for a certain distance, eyes on the front door. Fast steps, but not too fast to make me look I’m in a haste.

“Don’t bother, don’t be mean. Adjust.”

As much as I want to scream and protest throughout the years, I kept silent. It was a menial task, to be honest, a task overestimated by people nowadays as a violation of their “freedom of speech”. A necessary means to vent their emotions.

You can disagree about something, bothered to make things better, but it doesn’t give you a right to be a schmuck.

Confucius once said to his pupil something like this; a good teacher, even his silence teaches something.

In your silence, you will also learn something. Venting out your emotions is not wrong, but it depends on many factors, probably harmful, and usually topple your mindframe.

Less fault in less words.

I learned this hard way in medicine, during my study. In a world which a slight mistake could cost a life, these people didn’t seem to put the same standard when they made the health system? People wonder why so many deaths on the paper, yet rarely think.

It all seems wrong for me. All wrong, all must hear my opinion and solution. I got this and that, we should change this and that. In a harsh way.

My stingy words, toxic acts, and some other rubbish things I did never ultimately sent my message. They saw me in a distance, they thought I’m just another foul-mouthed, bossy newcomer. I became part of the problem.

Have you experienced something like this? The world seems crumbling, your world seems crumbling, you wanted to help but the environments caught your signals as threatening, or maybe insignificant. That hurts a lot.

Good intention is not enough to make people listen, you got to show your intention in a good way. Truth without grace is basically an insult.

After all this time, my father-son relationship secured, safe within the boundaries of respecting choices of life in context of smoking inside our house.

He chose to smoke, I chose not to. He chose to smoke inside, I’m bothered. I told him, but he didn’t heed. Surprise surprise! It doesn’t grant me a divine ticket to Westworld and I may say whatever my flesh want to say. My tongue will not differ from sword.

I put a wish inside his birthday card that he may stop smoking. I mentioned the effects of smoking everytime he had a medical complaints. He never felt offended. Eventually, I believe the persistent water drop will break the rock.

Persist. Adjust. Be nice, be respectful.

Your sphere will be better.

And please, stop smoking.

Sweet Spot for a Thought

My mind is not at ease.

A moment I thought to ponder, to pause and to zoom out from the miniscule details, to reimagine the sketch this long-fought dream to survive and bloom through the seasons, I’ve come to nothing but short of steps.

We cling to the idealistic burden, under the flag of health and humanity, to strive and rise to top priority.

After all, what good can be savored without health as the company?

Yet health is seen as something to attain when its lost, rather than defended.

We both know some illnesses could sort of anesthesize the tastebud of our tongue, when all incoming food were tasteless.

I’d like to think I’m on the same spot.

Stupefied between reality of the numbess and my imagination of sweet future, I broke down and sat silently.

On the corner of my question’s chamber, I rest the back of my head. Words fly free, collide, dangling and assembling sentences of clue.

One sentence resurfaced after a long night; what I’m good at?

I hugged my knee and sunk my face. It was dark and my lips are locked.

What I’m good at?

What I’m good at?

This unchartered sea navigated by riddled wheel, short-sighted captain, hopeful crew.

I thought I knew.

I wish I knew.

What to say, what to do, what measures should be taken.

What I’m good at?

Show me the sweet spot for my thought. Show me on the map. I’ll swim with all my might.

Through the waves of handshakes and exchanging cards, see me.

Guide me where to go, Lord.

Help my unbelief.

Forgive the Unforgiven

No one marvels at the ability to forgive.

The grieving family, at the cost of his son to protect others from the bomb, left the famous journalist with tears. It was remarkable to watch, as the grandmother uttered they must thank God, and their family must be strong.

A legitimate reason to be angry, yet forgives.

“And as for the perpetrators, we forgive them and I believe my mother is in the House of the Lord.”

– Kurnianto, quoted from Jakarta Post

Not a single person stunned; what is their heart made of?

We melted for a mere moment, the next day it became vapor.

Admiration without reflection.

Look back to the blasphemy case of Jakarta’s former governor, could you see the same forgiveness being granted? Or they clenched their fist in the name of justice?

They even made a movie about it, The Power of Love. I chuckled when I saw JRX tweeted with hashtag #212theloveofpower.

Is it how love manifest its power?

What kind of “love”, when expressed, essentially unforgiving?

Isn’t it the kind of love that keeps the Middle East in this state of chaos?

Yet when a heart forgives their enemy, everyone embrace the false inclusivity of plurality, then unashamedly eludes the question.

What does that tell us about condition of human heart?

One time in a beach, I had a dialogue with a Moslem about the world. That’s what I like about Western people; they are straightforward. He was amazed with the beauty of Indonesia’s nature and we had a good time talking about Creator, nature, traveling, and (of course!) beatiful beaches.

Our conversation escalated to a point where he said he’s afraid. He didn’t live like a devout Moslem, he didn’t know if he’s going to heaven or hell, but he knew someday he will turn to straight path.

I asked him, “if your son drowning right there in the middle of the ocean, and you see him from afar, what would you do?”

He looked at me –smiled as if I’m joking– and said he’ll take off everything he wears and save his son.

I said, “That’s Christianity. Now you are drowning in the ocean of your sins, no wonder you are afraid. God, Heavenly Father, emptied Himself and came into the world to save you.”

That’s love for me.

I wonder what enabled them to forgive? Morality without mercy will give way to punishment. An eye for an eye. Jesus had another thing in mind regarding

While we were still sinners (not better than the terrorist), God forgave the unforgiven in us through the cross.

His work, not ours.

His deeds, not ours.

My friend’s response will never left my head.

“Stop it men, you make it sound too beautiful.”

I will quote G. K. Chesterton to close this writing;

The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.

It is hard to forgive. It is harder to accept Christ’s work, that’s why they ridiculed Jesus. It’s hard to accept the bruised and battered God, bled and nailed to the cross, died and rose again.

It has not been tried. It is difficult. It’s easier to accept that God is immune to pain.

“Do you love Me?” Jesus asked for the third time.

Peter wept.

—

Hi! Call me Ivan. I left Islam when I was 14, a Christian since 15. Like some of you, I have many questions. Did you find your answer yet?

Who are you, God?

Mending pieces of my shattered heart after yesterday’s suicide bombing incident(s), this words penned, as a cry out to my fellows, pages I hid from the world.

It was hard writing this, but it was harder not to these days.

Hoping to light a mind or two, here I pour a corner once so dark but now I see.

“Islam is not like what you saw in media, please don’t.”

January 2014, my mom whispered that line with trembling lips as I confessed my faith in Christ. She cried herself till this day. We never talked about religion anymore.

One random day, one of her son left the faith. It was the hardest day of her life. And mine. I hugged her feet so hard because she said she’s afraid I will hate her for prohibiting me.

It was my cross. It is my cross.

I never deny my high school had no role in shaping my faith, they cleared the cloudy path of assumption but I held the final call to walk into His altar. What they gave me was a perspective I never thought was there to be challenged. Believing Christ is God are blasphemous in Islam, so does it say.

It was already my truth before it is assumed in the first place. How can one shift from a thing he already believe is an ultimate truth? It will only set his mind to defend rather than investigate.

C. S. Lewis said it best: the most dangerous ideas in a society are not the ones being argued, but the ones that are assumed.

There was a moment where I doubt everything I was told to believe and look it up for myself.

I asked myself, what is argued about Islam before the assumption is cleared? I packed the question on top of my shoulder everyday.

Religion of peace, is it true?

Perfect preservation of Quran, is it true?

Why do I long for relationship if God is tawhid? Am I supposed to be self-sufficient and be content just like Allah?

God, tawhid, then who does He love before He created the universe? No one? That dependency to His creation to manifest Love disqualify God as Love.

I saw many people claimed they love Muhammad, didn’t it make them commit idolatry? I don’t know.

Call the quest in question. Kill the doubt. I searched for God’s revelation about Himself.

Turns out, Allah only love certain people: who do good (Sura 2:195), the just (5:42, 60:8). Allah also does not love certain people: evildoers (3:57), corrupters (5:64), or transgessors (2:190, 5;87, 7:55), ungrateful sinners (2:276). He does not love those who ignore his commands (3:32). What struck me, he is certainly the enemy of disbelievers (2:98).

I left Islam and wander who is God.

Who are you, God?

One evening there’s a storyteller –some of you call him preacher– I didn’t understand any word he said. Then he mentioned the story of Jesus’s birth.

and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

Luke 2:7 NIV

I cried like a baby.

Sudden. No prior vision, no dream meeting Jesus in heaven or divine inspiration.

One line, washed my heart. Completely contrast with God in Islam I knew.

Placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

There’s something about it I cried like a child.

Christ respect my will to accept Him or not. That ephemeral moment stunned me. He reveals Himself in a line.

I invite Him that day, not to my guest room, Jesus would You come into my manger? I know it’s dirty, but You came into this nasty world anyway.

He stays in my heart till today.

You know, I lost everything by following Christ. How can a son broke his mother’s heart, not able to utter a word of comfort, the reason behind her sorrow, yet my heart at peace.

Who are you, God?

When we were far away, you came running with open arms.

Never did I imagine the answer is Heavenly Father. Definitely not a kind of God pictured in my former religion.

—

Hi! Call me Ivan. I left Islam when I was 14, a Christian since 15. Like some of you, I have many questions. Did you find your answer yet?

Refleksi Minggu: No. III

Pernahkah kamu menjelajahi masa lalu orang lain? Menelusuri jalan setapak, mundur, dengan latar belakang dan narasi yang dibentuk lingkungan sesuai zamannya.

Seminggu ini saya kembali menjelajah masa lalu yang ditempuh orang-orang sekitar saya. Sebuah kebiasaan ternyata dapat dimiliki banyak orang dalam satu tempat.

Contohnya, ngopi dan makan roti srikaya di pagi hari.

Ketika mengunjungi bangunan, rumah, restoran, bahkan sebuah jalan pun memori yang membekas bisa tiba-tiba meluncur dari lidah orang tersebut.

Saya bingung, mengapa manusia –termasuk saya– cenderung senang bercerita tentang kejadian yang sudah dilalui (terutama yang memalukan diri sendiri!), tapi mundur cantik jika bicara tentang kejadian yang sifatnya personal, atau kejadian yang diharapkan akan datang.

Beberapa bulan lalu saya mendampingi mahasiswa kedokteran Belanda di Jakarta, salah satu dari mereka bertanya, “Ivan, what’s the best day of your life?”

Di lain waktu mahasiswa yang lain bertanya, “Ivan, you are a Christian right? (Nod) Why do you guys object same-sex marriage?”

“Ivan, why are you here with us? I know you are our translator, but there’s more, right?”

Dengan ketakutan dan skenario di kepala sendiri, ibarat berdiri di tebing dengan ombang-ambing lautan. Pilihannya antara terjun saja, atau membawanya pulang dalam kepala.

Setiap waktu, saya memilih membawanya pulang.

Gimana kalau tidak terjadi? Malu aku.

Yaudahlah orang lain juga belum tentu ngerti.

Nanti saja kalau sudah kejadian, sudah sukses harapannya, baru cerita.

Pengalaman yang membentuk pengharapan. Tapi, begitu juga dengan kekecewaan.

Saya sering dipukul mundur dengan ungkapan bahwa saya terlalu blak-blakan. Jika penanya lihai, pernyataan yang sama otomatis tertuju padanya.

Sudah saatnya saya (kita) menghentikan ilusi bahwa blak-blakan terasosiasi dengan sifat negatif.

Tidak setuju terhadap sesuatu bukan berarti merendahkan. Justru dengan diam, kita merendahkan orang lain bahwa orang tersebut tidak mempunyai kapasitas berpikir objektif.

Refleksi Minggu: No. II

Diam dan dengar

Sebanyaknya doa, harap, kalau tanpa usaha hanya akan jadi sekadar angan.

Setidaknya satu minggu ini saya diajar sabar menghadapi sekelumit orang-orang yang sedang sakit. Mereka menunggu dari pagi, mungkin baru mendapat giliran bertemu dokter sudah 5-8 jam setelah mengambil nomor antre.

Pasien dalam satu hari rata-rata di angka 200. Sulit sekali mengendalikan kecepatan untuk anamnesis pasien hingga edukasi untuk penyakitnya dalam waktu singkat. Hari senin, pendaftar mencapai 288. Saya kerja menghadapi penyakit dan memberi obat.

Hari itu saya pulang kelelahan, tapi lelah karena sepanjang hari saya bicara dan berpikir, tanpa diam dan mendengar. Pernah kah kamu seperti itu? Sepanjang hari bicara, bicara, dan isi kepala dipecut terus-terusan.

Teringat pesan Pendeta di khotbah entah kapan; berdoa itu bukan hanya bicara sama Tuhan, tapi juga belajar mendengar suara Tuhan. Bukan menyamakan diri dengan Tuhan, tapi mungkin beberapa orang datang berobat, sebenarnya bukan butuh didengar, malah mau bicara! Gantian saya yang harus mendengar.

Esoknya saya datang dengan mentalitas yang berbeda, saya datang untuk melayani. Melayani dengan cara berpikir bahwa, yang saya layani adalah manusianya, bukan penyakitnya. Hari selasa dan seterusnya pekerjaan jadi terasa lebih hidup. Saya yang lebih dulu senyum, sapa dan salam, pasien pun pulang dengan senyum.

Melayani dengan cara berpikir bahwa, yang saya layani adalah manusianya, bukan penyakitnya.

Kita mungkin bekerja seharian menghadapi hal yang sama, monoton, dan berulang. Namun, orang yang kita hadapi mungkin harus izin kerja, menunggu diantara ratusan orang lain, hanya untuk sepuluh menit menceritakan keluhannya. Sabar. Kita semua pasti bisa. Sepuluh menit saja.

Hal yang mungkin ingin kita percepat agar pekerjaan/urusan kita selesai, mungkin membuat kualitasnya untuk orang lain menurun. Jadikanlah sedikit waktu yang kita korbankan, berharga untuk mereka yang mengorbankan berlipat-lipat lebih banyak dari kita. Tidak heran, barang-barang handmade harganya sangat mahal! Presisi, waktu, dan atensi yang diberikan untuk produk tersebut tidak bisa digantikan oleh mesin.

Tidak semua hal perlu dibayar dengan uang, ada yang hanya bisa dibayar dengan perhatian, waktu, kata-kata yang baik, bahkan dengan diam.

Selamat hari Minggu!

Refleksi Minggu: No. I

Sudah beberapa kali saya ditegur orang-orang; kapan nulis lagi, Van? Entah menanti karena ada kebiasaan saya yang berubah, atau terberkati. Semoga alasannya yang saya sebutkan terakhir.

Mulai minggu ini, saya sedang membiasakan diri menulis setiap minggu, Refleksi Minggu namanya. Idenya sederhana, saya merefleksikan nilai-nilai yang saya pelajari minggu ini, lalu saya bagikan ke teman-teman pembaca. Harapannya, bisa menjadi manfaat menghadapi senin yang akan datang.

Sekadar info, tagline blog saya Poetry of reality, saya memang bertujuan melukiskan realita-realita keseharian saya dalam romantika kehidupan.

Selamat menikmati suguhan sederhana ini.

Satu minggu ini, saya belajar tentang Batas.

Aktivitas sehari-hari saya saat ini sebagai dokter internsip di Puskesmas Kecamatan Cengkareng, di luar itu, saya sedang mengabdikan waktu saya untuk mengembangkan bayi saya, Globular HI.

Berbeda dengan IGD, layang pandang Puskesmas punya peran di luar triase dan pintu masuk berlalu-lalang. Dalam masa orientasi, banyak kegiatan tingkat populasi yang disematkan di pundak Puskesmas.

Kelompok Pendukung Ibu (ini keren banget), Poliklinik HIV/AIDS, VCT mobile, Klinik Calon Pengantin yang digagas Pak Anies, Pelayanan Kesehatan Peduli Remaja (PKPR), impelentasi langsung dari Germas, seluruh ombak-ombak ini terasa di Puskesmas. Segala upaya yang dilakukan pemerintah hingga pelayanan tingkat primer di Jakarta, terlebih lagi Cengkareng merupakan salah satu jagoan di skala nasional, terlihat dari hari pertama menginjakkan kaki di sini.

Satu hal yang saya sadari dan pelajari adalah keterbatasan. Menjadi pekerja sosial di bidang kesehatan, dibatasi sebagai oleh persetujuan. Terapi gratis (re:dibayar oleh pemerintah), tidak menjamin pasien / sasaran mau mengikuti rekomendasi kita sebagai tenaga kesehatan.

Populasi kunci, pasien ODHA yang rutin berobat, apakah kita punya kuasa mendikte gaya hidup mereka yang berisiko? Tidak. Keputusan tetap berada di subjek terkait.

Teringat pesan Susan Sherman, profesor di Departemen Epidemiologi dan Kesehatan Johns Hopkins yang menginisiasi STILETTO Project, program prevensi HIV bagi populasi risiko tinggi seperti Pekerja Seks Komersil (PSK), pengguna narkoba jarum suntik, penari eksotis. Prof. Sherman tahu betul bahwa ia tidak bisa melarang / ikut campur pilihan hidup orang lain, melainkan memberi pilihan; mereka bisa memilih untuk menukar jarum suntik yang baru setiap pagi untuk mencegah pemakaian jarum suntik berulang & bergantian, mereka bisa memilih untuk dirujuk ke fasilitas kesehatan mengenai permasalahan mereka, hingga tes HIV dan Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP).

“We’re never in the business of saving anyone, we’re in the business of providing options.”

– Prof. Susan Sherman

Tidak bisa ada paksaan, melainkan edukasi berulang dan menuju perubahan perilaku. Kasus-kasus yang membuat greget dan geram, terbatas oleh persetujuan yang bersangkutan.

Di pusaran kehidupan kita yang lain, baik dari agama, poros politik, gaya hidup, kita juga bisa belajar kita ini terbatas.

Berilah saran, rekomendasi, petuah, tapi jangan sekali-kali memaksakan ideologi yang kita anut pada orang lain.

Selamat berbaur dengan ragamnya Indonesia, kawan.

Semangat memulai minggu ini.

Tuhan memberkati.

Catatan dalam diam #4

Khawatir. Diantara transaksi canda dan tanya, ada khawatir singgah bernuansa kesendirian.

Mereka bilang kebebasan.

Ini anginku, biarlah membawa menerpa, apapun yang kusuguhkan dalam rumahku.

Itu ombakku, lebih baik kayuh sampai ke belahan di baliknya.

Terus, gerus.. Kayuh, sayup.. Hati ini gaduh..

Mereka bilang normal. Sejauh mana kau percaya itu, nona? Sejauh mana kau percaya itu benar?

Apakah benarmu benarmu, benarku benarku? Di mana kita bisa bertemu tatap mata, tanpa mata, bergilir membacakan pesan-pesan yang terlintas menggerogoti waktu.. Sejauh jemari mencari nara. Kukecup dan titipkan kesenangan yang bermetamorfosis menjadi gelisah, mengalir dalam vena kita, bergelombang menjadi jarak yang semakin tinggi dan segera berhamburan, dalam diam.

Esokmu segera menjadi kemarin, Uwok.

Jagalah, risaulah pada detikmu.

Serat-serat yang kau jalin dengan pengasingan, jaraklah.

Sejengkal lebih baik dari terjengkal.

Letakkan, sungkur, lempar mahkota filosofimu, tanya pada-Nya:

siapa aku.

Nak, pulang sebelum maghrib. Itu pesan Ibu. Pulang..

Barat terlalu jauh, Timur terlalu dekat. Aku tahu itu.

Bacalah, risaulah, gemetarlah atas esokmu.

Sekejap mereka Hari Ini, sekedip mereka Kemarin.

Jengkalmu, Uwok. Ukur dari dadamu. Jangan sampai terjengkal.

Khawatir… selalu..